I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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