I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize