she was so not down for the gang bang
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
this hospital has no fireball
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
