I am puke
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
