I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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