it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
