mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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