his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
