Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
