no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
