haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
