i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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