I can't watch pbs sober anymore
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize