i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
