I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
