Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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