sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize