There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
