you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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