i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
