You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
