She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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