Heybabeimwearingurpanties
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
