WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
