Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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