there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
