Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize