so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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