i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
