how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
