Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
