i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
