dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
