To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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