Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
