Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
