Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
