I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
