Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
