its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
