I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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