1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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