How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
