I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
