I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
