dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
