That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
