I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
