the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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