how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
