I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
