Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
