The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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