Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
