And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
