that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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