Your mouth is God's brothel.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
