im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
