It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
there is glitter all over my balls
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