It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
