I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
