at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
