ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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