did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
