She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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