somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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