the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
