i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
