you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
