fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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