she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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