Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Farmville is her only friend.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
